human

i've decided to give myself

the freedom to be human

which is of course what i am

although i have spent a lot

of time and energy trying to

convince people otherwise

because any fall from grace

definitely leaves a mark

especially if it's from a height

but being human is so much

better than the alternative

albeit incredibly messy at times

it can cause a good bit of

disappointment and hurt 

but isn't that better than being

someone who does not even exist

real love comes only when you

allow others to see all of you

not just the pretty parts

all your flaws and frailties

all your failures and foibles

all your weaknesses

and vulnerabilities

for it is not until others

discover your humanness

and embrace it themselves

that there can be real relationship

that they can love the real you

for until there is true being

their love was not about you 

but was about them 

and who they needed 

or wanted you to be

and that is not really love

so i've decided to give myself

the freedom to be human

because being anything

other than that is a burden

too great for anyone to bear

clinging

help me not to cling

to how it was

because how it was

can keep me from

all that is to be

changes

the lines on  

my hands 

and my face  

tell the story 

time marches on 

it waits for no one 

 

seasons come  

and season go 

letting go becomes 

standard fare 

best get good at it 

 

children turn into adults 

knees get weaker 

eyesight begins to fail 

but God’s unfailing love 

and continual faithfulness 

endure forever 

wait for him

“Wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope.  My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning.” (Psalm 130:5-6)

Eventually God leads each of us to the place where all we can do is wait for him.  It is as maddening as it is challenging, but the truth is that we can either embrace it and enter into it or we can drive ourselves crazy trying to avoid or escape it.  Which will we choose?

“O Israel, put your hope in the Lord, for with the Lord is unfailing love, and with him is full redemption.” (Psalm 130:7)

an old clay jar

“But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.  We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.  We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.” (2 Corinthians 4:7-10)

I am a mess!  I always have been and will be until the day I die.  But I’m okay with that because this old clay jar contains a treasure.  And I can’t embrace the treasure if I can’t embrace its container.  The jar is somehow an essential part of the equation.  

If I never carry around in my body the death of Jesus, how can the life of Jesus ever be fully revealed in my body?  I can never fully appreciate the risen-ness of Jesus if I try to escape, or discard, my brokenness and need for Jesus.  I must somehow learn to embrace this old clay jar before I can fully appreciate, and reveal, the love and power of the Risen Jesus to a world that’s in as desperate need of him as I am.

Lord Jesus, help me never to hide my messiness or brokenness, because it only gives you the chance to reveal your love and your resurrection power.

burn

Luke 12:49-50

What is the fire

you have given me to light? 

Do I burn with holy longing

for you alone? 

Do I spread the flames

of your consuming love

to all who cross my path? 

Do I long to see people’s lives

consumed by those flames

until it is only you they live for? 

And am I willing to undergo

whatever baptism necessary

to get me to that holy place?

the great regret

after the great regret

there has been a lot of life

God somehow used death

once again

to bring about new life

it’s kind of what he does