what the eyes of youth cannot
see
the wisdom of age begins to
understand
living with clenched fists is
no life at all
just an exercise in futility
and hubris
life is not about writing our
own story
not about blazing or own trail
not about making a name for
ourselves
but about stretching out our
hands
about understanding where we
fit
in His story—open handed
trusting and fully surrendered
about making His name great
it was never about me
but always about Him
“Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs.” (Jonah 2:8) God keeps trying to give us grace, but we refuse to let go of our worthless idols—our own plans and agendas. So, just like with Jonah, God has to take extreme measures to open us up to the grace he is trying to give us.
Oftentimes, this comes through disruption. He hurls us into the deep, a place of dependence and desperation, trying to pry open or tightly clenched fists from our own places of comfort and familiarity. Sadly, even then we still try to cling to our worthless idols of strength and self-sufficiency, until finally we arrive at a place of total surrender.
So maybe we should embrace the disruption instead of fighting it. Maybe we should open our hands and our hearts and receive the grace God is trying to give us. When we walk with Jesus, disruption is often an invitation. In the words of Albert E. Day, “For into the vacuum created by the destruction of human pride and self-sufficiency, pours the fullness of God.” How can we be full of God when we are so full of ourselves?
It reads like a poem. Because we know, all too well, exactly what he means. He’s talking to us too. The things that bind us and keep us from the life he desires for us must be removed and left behind. Yes, he has raised us from death to life and brought us out of the tomb, which is glorious indeed, but still there is work to be done in order for us to live fully and freely. Walking with God in newness of life means leaving the grave clothes behind.
Is it possible to live fear-free? Is that what faith is really all about? Or is faith the ability to live in trust despite our fears?
If we were to eliminate fear altogether, where is the ongoing need for faith? Where is our sense of dependence on God? The constant tension and struggle between fear and faith seems to be necessary for growth.
“When I’m afraid, I will trust in you,” say the words of the ancient prayer. And the when seems to be a significant part of the picture. We are going to be afraid. The key is to not let fear consume and control us. To not let it force us into creating worst case scenarios and spinning false narratives about ourselves, our loved ones, or others in our lives and world. Fear can either drive us to control, manipulation, and dysfunction (among other things) or it can drive us to Jesus.
When we start to think we are more deserving of the attention, affection, recognition, or renumeration that others are getting, we need to pay careful attention. Because we are falling into the trap of comparison, which never turns out well in terms of the kingdom.
On the one hand, we see people we don’t think we’re as good as, which makes us incredibly insecure. And on the other hand, we see people that we think we’re better than (sadly) but who are getting more recognition, affection, or renumeration than we are, which makes us frustrated, envious, and jealous. It’s a no-win game.
So, Jesus comes along and tells a story (Matthew 20:1-16) to show us what kingdom living is really all about. And the point of the story is this: In the kingdom of God the first are last and the last are first. Walking with God is not about jockeying and posturing, but about going to the back of the line. It’s about lifting others above ourselves. It’s about celebrating others, not competing or comparing. At the back of the line is where we will find Jesus.
So, try reading Matthew 20:1-16 and see where you find yourself in this story. Ask God what he wants to say to you about it. It might surprise you like it did me.
Lord Jesus, help us to know the beauty and the joy of making ourselves last, less, and least.
