get up

if you want to

walk with God

you can't just

stay on the mat

something is 

required of you

continuing on

in old patterns

is not an option

you must get up

pick up your mat

and walk

i shall not want

the Lord is my shepherd

i shall not want

and yet i do

i am filled with want

i'm so in touch with

my own neediness

it seems i bump into it

wherever i turn

i shall not want

is so far from my reality

probably because 

i continually turn to

other people and places

to try and meet my needs

rather than my good shepherd

Lord, have mercy

the hug

what the eyes of youth cannot see

the wisdom of age begins to understand

living with clenched fists is no life at all

just an exercise in futility and hubris

life is not about writing our own story

not about blazing or own trail

not about making a name for ourselves

but about stretching out our hands

about understanding where we fit

in His story—open handed

trusting and fully surrendered

about making His name great

it was never about me

but always about Him

help me stretch out my hands

clinging to worthless idols

“Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs.”  (Jonah 2:8) God keeps trying to give us grace, but we refuse to let go of our worthless idols—our own plans and agendas.  So, just like with Jonah, God has to take extreme measures to open us up to the grace he is trying to give us. 

Oftentimes, this comes through disruption.  He hurls us into the deep, a place of dependence and desperation, trying to pry open or tightly clenched fists from our own places of comfort and familiarity.  Sadly, even then we still try to cling to our worthless idols of strength and self-sufficiency, until finally we arrive at a place of total surrender. 

So maybe we should embrace the disruption instead of fighting it.  Maybe we should open our hands and our hearts and receive the grace God is trying to give us.  When we walk with Jesus, disruption is often an invitation.  In the words of Albert E. Day, “For into the vacuum created by the destruction of human pride and self-sufficiency, pours the fullness of God.”  How can we be full of God when we are so full of ourselves?

grave clothes

“Lazarus come out!" 

The dead man came out,

His hands and head

Wrapped with strips of linen,

And a cloth around his face.

Jesus said to them,

“Take off the grave clothes

And let him go.”

It reads like a poem.  Because we know, all too well, exactly what he means.  He’s talking to us too.  The things that bind us and keep us from the life he desires for us must be removed and left behind.  Yes, he has raised us from death to life and brought us out of the tomb, which is glorious indeed, but still there is work to be done in order for us to live fully and freely.  Walking with God in newness of life means leaving the grave clothes behind.

a more beautiful song

We do not empty ourselves of fear and anxiety by not thinking about the bad things, you and I both know that doing that is impossible.  The more determined we become not to think about them, the more consuming and controlling they are.  Thus, our hearts and minds become victims to the very things we are trying so hard not to think about.

We empty ourselves of fear and anxiety by filling our hearts and minds with God—our pure and lovely and admirable and excellent and praiseworthy God. (Phil 4:6-9) We dwell in his house, we gaze upon his beauty, and we seek him in his temple. (Ps. 27:4) We don’t allow the noise and chaos of the world to determine our state of being, but instead, we fill our ears with the music of a more beautiful song (like Orpheus rather than Odysseus).  We allow the beauty of God’s song—the song of his unfailing love and unbridled affection—to capture us, captivate us, and compel us.  Then there will be no room for the voices of fear, insecurity, and evil to have their way with us anymore because our hearts will be guarded by the peace of God, which transcends all understanding.  And our God, the God of peace, will be with us. 

why did i doubt

Matthew 14:30-33

You turn ashes into beauty.

You turn sorrow into joy.

You turn mourning into dancing.

You turn struggle into growth.

You turn death into life.

You turn chaos into calm.

You turn desperation into salvation.

O me of little faith, why did I doubt?

Truly you are the Son of God.