trying too hard

“I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother, like a weaned child is my soul within me.” (Psalm 131:2)

We put so much pressure on ourselves to make things happen in life and in ministry, when the only thing we can really do is let them happen.  God is the only one who can make things happen.  We cannot take personal responsibility for things that only he can do, and yet we do it all the time.  No wonder we’re so tired and weary.  But that’s not where it stops, it also leads to other issues.  Issues like busyness, overwork, fatigue, anxiety, insecurity, and burnout, to name a few.  It is not healthy when we begin to see ourselves as both essential and indispensable to a process that is ultimately all up to God.  In fact, it makes us the worst version of ourselves: manipulative and demanding, always pressing and pushing and forcing. 

If only we could learn the wisdom of this ancient prayer.  If only we could let go of our stubborn pride and arrogant self-sufficiency.  If only we could release our desperate need to be needed and our deep longing to be significant.  If only we could be free from all our compulsions and obsessions and become still and quiet before God.  Then we might finally find ourselves in the loving embrace of our Savior and put our hope fully in him.  Then we might finally be able to be a non-anxious presence in this world.