wait

I wait for the Lord, my souls waits, and in his word I put my hope.  My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning.  ~Psalm 130:5-6


There it is, right there in the scriptures, over and over again.  It is hard to ignore or deny.  But it is also just as hard to figure out what it looks like.  It is the word wait.  God tells us over and over again to wait for the Lord.  Unfortunately, we aren't very good at that.  It's sort of counter-intuitive.  "We are people of action," we defiantly claim.  "We can't just sit around on our hands doing nothing."  And therein lies our great mistake.  We assume that waiting is doing nothing, when nothing could be further from the truth. 

Waiting creates dependence.  And the truth is that we hate being dependent on anyone or anything--even God.  Therefore, we simply refuse to wait, much to our own demise.  In fact, we are people who avoid waiting at all costs.  We constantly look for the shortest lives, the faster lane of traffic, the quickest way to accomplish the many tasks on our lists.  We are all about efficiency.  However, efficiency in this world and efficiency in the kingdom of God are two completely different things.

God says, "Wait for the Lord.  Stay put until I have spoken or acted, and then (and only then) join me.  Don't assume that you know what is right or what is best, but trust completely in my guidance and my direction--even in prayer.  Don't go charging right into prayer with a plethora or words and requests.  Wait.  I will speak.  And after I do, answer me."  I guess that's why Eugene Peterson says that prayer is always and only answering speech.  Prayer is simply answering the God who has already spoken.

Unfortunately, we get this backwards all too often; not only in prayer, but also in life.  We spring into action and then think to pray.  We charge ahead with our own plans, schemes, and agendas and then ask God to join us.  We ask him to bless our way, rather than us following his way.  And then we wonder why God doesn't seem to show up, or answer, or move, or bless.  The fact is that he already has, but we simply weren't paying attention.  It seems to me that we could save ourselves a whole lot of trouble and heartache if we would simply get the order right.  Wait.  Listen.  Then respond.  Then pray.  Then act.  That way there would be a whole lot less wasted movement.

return

"...you have scattered your favors
to foreign gods under every spreading tree..."

"Return, faithless people," declares the Lord,

"for I am your husband." (Jer. 3:13-14)

o my bride

my church

i am your God

your husband

your lover 

i made you for myself

that i might give myself to you

that you might live with me

in a sacred romance

in union and intimacy

beyond your wildest dreams

but you have turned away

you have given

the most intimate

parts of yourself

to other lovers

you have given your

attention and affection

to foreign gods

that do not love you

the way i do

you have scattered

your favors to them

under every green tree

o my love

my bride

what shall i do with you

you have broken my heart

how i long to be

the focus of all your love

the object of

your deepest affections

how i long for you

to return to our bed

that i might show

my love to you once again.

but i will not share you

with another

i will not compete

for your love

you must leave

your other lovers

and return to me

return to me

my love

my bride

for i am

your one true love

 

yoke

Come to me you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. (Matthew 11:28-30)

What yoke are you wearing these days?  It seems like a bit of an odd question, doesn't it?  What the heck is a yoke anyway?  

According to the dictionary, a yoke is a device for joining together a pair of draft animals, especially oxen, usually consisting of a crosspiece with two bow-shaped pieces, each enclosing the head of an animal.  The Greek word used here is zygos, which comes from the root zeugnumi, meaning to join.  So when Jesus invites us to take his yoke upon us, he is inviting us to join ourselves to him in some mysteriously intimate way.  He is inviting us to do life with him in such a way that he bears the brunt of the burden, not us.  Thus, the end result of us taking his yoke upon us is rest for our souls.  It follows that if we are weary and burdened in our lives, we must be wearing a yoke other than that of Jesus.  Someone or something has slipped in and put a load on us that we were never meant to bear.

So I ask again, what yoke are you wearing these days, and where did it come from?  What burdens are you carrying?  What load is upon you?  Is it possible that you have taken on a yoke than is not meant for you?  A load that only Jesus can carry?

An old legend goes that Jesus, being a the son of a carpenter, specialized in yokes.  People would come from miles around because he was the best.  He was the only one who could make a yoke that was perfectly fit for the animal that was to wear it.  And he does the same with each of us.  He has made a yoke that is perfectly fit for you and for me.  Why would we wear anything else?  But we do.  We continually carry burdens that are not our own.  We continually wear a yoke that was put upon us, either by ourselves, or by others, or by the world.

The yoke of this world says, "increase," but the yoke of Jesus says, "decrease."  The yoke of the world says, "climb," but the yoke of Jesus says, "descend."  The yoke of the world says, "make yourself something," but the yoke of Jesus says, "make yourself nothing."  The world's yoke will exhaust you and wear you out, but the yoke of Jesus will renew and restore you to your true self.  "My yoke fits perfectly," says Jesus, "because it was made for you.  Wear my yoke, take it upon you, and you will find rest for your souls."

through

Blessed are those who dwell in your house; they are ever praising you.  Blessed are those whose strength is in you, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.  As they pass through the Valley of Baca, they make it a place of springs; the autumn rains also cover it with pools.  They go from strength to strength, till each appears before God in Zion. ~Psalm 84:4-7

All of us, at some point in our lives, must travel through the Valley of Weeping (Baca in Hebrew means "weeping")--it is simply unavoidable.  It is an inevitable part of this life.  Therefore, we should not be surprised, or disgusted, when we find ourselves in its midst.  That is why the one who has set his heart on pilgrimage is blessed.  He realizes that the journey through this difficult terrain is simply a part of the trek.  Because of that, he is able to make the Valley of Weeping into a place of springs. 

You see, adversity comes to us all.  The key lies in how each of us chooses to travel this stretch of the journey.  We must not allow the experience of pain and suffering to make us angry or bitter.  We must not allow ourselves to get depressed and discouraged.  We must not lose heart.  We must realize that there is no way out, only through.  We must realize that even this (whatever this may be), as difficult as it is, can have a positive result in God's economy.  We must realize that God often uses the most difficult things in our lives to accomplish some of the best results within us.  We must realize that God is so big that he can use the heartache and heartbreak of this life to nourish and nurture and strengthen our hearts and souls in ways that nothing else can; and that we will be better, stronger, more loving men and women at the end of this journey than we were at the beginning.  Thus, we become able to move from strength to strength, until each of us stands before God in Zion. 

The Valley of Weeping need not defeat us, or throw us into despair, but holds the possibility of making us more the ones God intended us to be when he breathed us into being.  God is our strength.  He is with us in the midst of the struggle.  He is using the Valley of Weeping in the process of us becoming all he dreamt us to be.

So the morale of the story (or the Psalm) seems to be this: When adversity comes--and it will--remember that there is no way out, only through.  God is with you.  He is your strength.  He will make a way for you.  So put your trust in him.

be exalted

whenever i begin
to think that this life
is all about me
be exalted o lord

whenever i forget
that i am only a small part
of your good creation
be exalted o lord

whenever i get
confused and consumed
by the worries of this world
be exalted o lord

whenever i start
spinning around in
my own needs and concerns
be exalted o lord

and remind me
that this life
is not about me
but about you

more is not better

I did it again.  Once again, I fell into that old familiar trap, that way of thinking that is advocated, supported, and even promoted by the world in which we live.  It is a philosophy of life that says more is always better.  I know, I know, I should know better.  After all, my life and my vocation revolve around constantly trying to remind people that: being is more important than doing; our identity is not earned but bestowed; silence and solitude and prayer are the most important things that can occupy our souls, and our agendas; the one thing is more important than the many things (Luke 10:41-42); and loving the Lord your God with all of your heart and soul and mind  and strength, always comes before loving your neighbor as yourself (Mark 12:30)  

But every now and then, I still fall into the trap.  I start allowing my desire for affirmation and achievement and significance and impact to lure me away from simply living my life in and with God, and letting everything else take care of itself.  It is a subtle shift, one that is hard to notice.  Even one that I try to put a noble face on from time to time.  After all, isn't this life about spreading his word and serving the poor and reaching the lost?  Of course it is.  But when those things become the end, rather than God, we have reduced Him merely to a means.  Instead of being with God, just to be with him, we start being with him in order to get something else (even if that something else is seemingly a good thing).  Try that with those you love the most in your life and tell me how it goes.  No one wants to be used.  We all want to be valued and loved for who we are, not what we can do.  It is the same with God.  God wants to be the end, not just a means to some other end, even if that end is ministry.  Are we loving God for God's sake, or are we "loving" God for the sake of our ministries?  C. S. Lewis put it so beautifully when he said: "He can't be used as a road.  If you're approaching Him not as the goal, but as a road, not as the end but as a means, you're not really approaching Him at all."

I guess it all goes back to what we really believe.  Do we believe that we are put here on this earth to do stuff for God?  Or do we believe that we are put here, first and foremost, to enjoy God and to be enjoyed by him?  John Piper once said that, "The chief end of man is to glorify God by enjoying him forever."  Thus, our spiritual lives, and our spiritual disciplines, are not for the sole purpose of preparation for ministry, but to make space for us to enjoy God and be enjoyed by him.  That is what transforms us.  That is what gives fuel to our lives of ministry.  It is so easy for me to get it all turned around.  Is ministry my goal, or is God my goal?  Something tells me that if God is not my true goal, my true end, then my life and my ministry will never be what he desires them to be.

perfume

she has done a beautiful thing to me. ~mark 14:6

i pour out my love
the contents of my heart
upon your head
my dear lord jesus

i give you my heart
my adoration
my affection
my delight

may it be like perfume
on your head