why wait

Make me to know your ways, O Lord; teach me your paths.  Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation; for you I wait all day long. (Psalm 25:4-5, ESV)

It is difficult, at times, to discern God’s voice from the many voices around and within us that are constantly clamoring for our attention and attempting to determine our direction.  It’s quite maddening, and can be terribly confusing unless we take the advice of the psalmist and wait patiently for the voice of the Lord to rise above the din of all the other voices that continually assault us. 
    

But waiting patiently is no easy matter.  It will cost us significantly.  Waiting for the Lord takes time.  Listening for God’s voice takes space.  It requires silence and solitude.  It means that we must slow down, disconnect, and disengage from all of the people and the things that fill our lives and our hearts with noise and clamor and endless compulsion.  It seems like everyone we meet loves us and has a great plan for our lives, and will gladly tell us exactly what that is if we are willing to give them our time and attention.  But no one else can tell us who we are supposed to be and what we are supposed to do except the One who made us.  It is his voice alone that must determine these things.  And unless we listen for his voice we will never know exactly what they are.  Unless we are willing to invest the time and attention necessary to truly hear his still, small voice, we are likely to be blown around by whim and opinion and circumstance.

  

That’s where the words of this ancient prayer offer us help.  They ask God to be the one to determine the way and the path.  For he alone knows the truth, and will gladly tell it to us if we are willing to listen—and wait.

wait

Be still and wait patiently for the Lord. . .(Psalm 37:7)

     I call to you,  Lord, from  my quiet darkness.  Show me your mercy and love.  Let me see your face, hear your voice, touch the hem of your cloak.  I want to love you, be with you, speak to you and simply stand in your presence.  But I cannot make that happen.  Pressing my eyes against my hands is not praying, and reading about your presence is not living in it.

     But there is that moment in which you will come to me, as you did to your fearful disciples, and say, "Do not be afraid; it is I."  Let that moment come soon, O Lord.  And if you want to delay it, then make me patient.  Amen. (A Cry for Mercy by Henri J. M. Nouwen)

     God comes like the sun in the morning--when it is time.

     We must assume an attitude of waiting, accepting the fact that we are creatures and not creator.

     We must do this because it is not our right to do anything else: the initiative is God's, not ours.  We are able to initiate nothing; we are able only to accept.

     If God does not call, no calling takes place.  If God does not come, there is no history!  History is the coming of God to us, and the way in which we reply.

     Only God created the heavens and the earth; only God can create history.  We carry it out through our response, but the inspiration, the design, and the strength to carry it out come from him.

     In short, he is what creates, and we creatures are in an act of becoming. (The God Who Comes by Carlo Carretto)

See how the farmer waits for the  land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains.  You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord's coming is near. (James 5:7-8)

Apparently waiting plays a significant role in our lives with God.  Unfortunately, we are not good at it.  We like to charge ahead.  We like to make things happen.  The problem is that the things that we can make happen are probably not the things God wants to have happen.  So even when it is our desire to help God (as if he needed it), we, all too often, actually get in his way if we are not waiting patiently for him to tell us and to show us what he desires.  Waiting, it seems, must always precede acting.  Otherwise we are merely acting on our own behalf, rather than God's.

O Lord our God, be the initiator this day, and give us the grace and the courage to respond.  Amen. 

refuge

"Keep me safe, my God, for in you I take refuge." ~Psalm 16:1


I've been praying the psalms with a group of friends for the past several months and it has been such a joy and delight!  One thing I have noticed during that time is how often these prayers refer to God as our refuge.  It is a funny thing to pray on those days when needing a refuge is the furthest thing from my mind.  Those are the days, I suppose, when I must remind myself that the prayers I lift to the Lord Most High do not always have to be about me.  Those are the days when I must realize that the community I pray these prayers for and with hold many people within them who are in desperate need of such a refuge.  Those are the days when I pray for them, my turn will come soon enough.

What does it mean that God is our refuge anyway?  The word refuge in the Hebrew is chacah.  It means to flee for protection.  It is used 25 times in the book of Psalms alone, usually translated either refuge or trust.  It conveys the image of God as our safe place.  Within the warmth and protection of his loving and powerful embrace we can be fully at home and fully at peace, regardless of the circumstances.  God is the one to whom we can flee and find safety.  Oh, maybe not safety in the sense that no harm will ever befall us, but safety in the sense that, whatever comes, he is the one in whom we can trust and rest secure.  He loves us deeply and is strong enough to shelter us from and sustain us in even the direst of circumstances.

So the psalms are an invitation to step inside the fullness and the beauty that this image has to offer.  Therefore, call upon the Lord your God to be your refuge, whatever that may mean today.  And if that image doesn't seem to translate into your life at the moment, pray it anyway, I'm sure it does for someone that you know and love.


"Taste and see that the Lord is good, blessed is the man who takes refuge in him." ~Psalm 34:8

dream

When the Lord brought back the captives to Zion, we were like men who dreamed.  Our mouths were filled with laughter, our tongues with songs of joy.  Then it was said among the nations, “The Lord has done great things for them.”  The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.  (Psalm 126:1-3, NIV)


I don’t dream enough.  I’d like to, I really would.  But somehow I get so busy managing and controlling and manipulating and surviving and WORRYING that I just forget.  And that is really sad.  It is sad because dreams are the things that life is made of.  Dreaming is what gives breath and wind, energy and vitality to this life we live in Christ.  Dreams put a spring in our step and joy in our hearts.  They focus us on possibilities and opportunities, rather than hardships and struggles.  They fill our mouths with laughter and our souls with hope and joyful expectation.  They make us live our lives on tiptoe. 

     Our dreams—or more correctly, God’s dreams in us—are so vital to our souls.  They are the things that nourish and enliven us.  They are the things that give fuel and energy to our prayers.  The dreams that God dreams in us and for us are intended to give our lives direction and vision and purpose.  But, unfortunately, we are often led by our fears, insecurities and anxieties instead.

     What are your dreams these days?  Sit down and spend some time thinking and praying about that.  Ask God to dream his dreams in you.  Ask him to show you what his deepest dreams are for you.  Then listen for his response.  Write it down.  Cherish it.  Order your life according to what his dreams are for you.  You won’t regret it.

Lord Jesus, help me to be led this day by my dreams instead of my fears.  Show me what your dreams are for me, and help me to be led by them.  Amen.

be careful

I feel compelled.  And it is hard to know exactly what I mean when I say that.  It is difficult to tell where it is really coming from.  Is it God?  Or is it merely my own anxieties and insecurities?  Or some strange combination of the two (which is my best guess)?  Whatever the case, whatever the reason for the compulsion I feel to write, I'm going to venture on.  After all, isn't that what this blog is for, to write about what is stirring within me at any given moment.  So, here goes.

There has been (and continues to be) an enormous amount of conversation recently, in my little corner of the world anyway, about the Enneagram.  The Enneagram is a nine sided figure used in an ancient personality typing system that is designed to analyze and represent the spectrum of possible personality types.  It is the modern synthesis of  a number of different ancient traditions, but was put into a system of thought in the late 1960's and early 1970's by a man named Oscar Ichazo.  Since that time it has been used mainly by spiritual directors as a tool to help people understand the dynamics of their inner lives.  And an incredibly valuable tool at that!

The problem with it, as with any tool, is that it can be misused.  A scalpel in the hands of someone who is skilled and trained in the art of using it is a priceless treasure.  But in the hands of a novice it can be the cause of great harm.  So it is with the Enneagram.  In the hands of someone wise and discerning, and skilled in the art of directing souls, it can be an enormous aid in the process of helping people understand their inner patterns and landscape.  The problem comes when those of us who aren't particularly skilled or discerning in that area begin to use it on ourselves and those in our lives and world.  We read a book or a blog and are so captured by what we have read (and rightly so) that we suddenly become an expert.  It is almost like reading something about surgery and beginning  to think to ourselves: "Here's what a scalpel is and how it works; and this is where the major organs are, so let's cut each other open and see how it goes."  Discernment is a funny thing; we all think we have far more of it than we really do.  In fact, from my experience, those who think they are the most discerning are probably the ones you want to stay away from.  While those who feel like they are the least discerning are the ones that we need to gravitate toward.  For from the gift of true discernment comes true humility.  Those who really know, think that they do not know anything.  That is wisdom.

Does that mean that we should not read these books or have these conversations about the Enneagram and the wisdom it teaches us?  Not at all.  We just  need to be careful.  Here are a few things to keep in mind. 

First, I have noticed that the Enneagram is enormously helpful in aiding the process of recognizing our patterns and ways of being that may have gone unnoticed or unexplained for years.  The problem is that after the first "Aha" that the Enneagram produces, and the conversations associated with that, we can actually proceed in such a way that it begins to stifle and cut off conversation, reflection, and prayer, rather than encourage it.  The reason is that we stop listening, to ourselves and each other, as our minds immediately run ahead to whatever number on the diagram that most closely describes them.  Instead of listening, we begin to label them and box them in.  We make assumptions rather than trying to discover.  We form opinions rather asking open ended questions.  In that case, the Enneagram can become constrictive rather than expansive.  Whenever you hear (or say) the words "That's because I'm a ________" or "That's just because you are a ________," stop yourself right there.  You are reducing yourself, or the person in front of you, from an endless mystery to a number on a diagram.  It is easy to fall into the trap of dismissing rather than engaging. And it can close us off to each other rather than opening us up.

Also, we need to be really careful when we are using the Enneagram on ourselves.  It is easy to fall into the "that's just how I am" mindset; which can either offer us an excuse for our behavior or can make us feel helpless and trapped inside it.  Explaining and excusing are not the intent of the Enneagram.  The ultimate intent is understanding and transformation, becoming all that we were created to be.  To recognize and understand our unredeemed patterns and habits--those things, events, and people that make us the worst version of ourselves-- and why they occur, in order that we might move toward the redemption and freedom of Christ--the best version of ourselves--through the act of repentance.  That is what spiritual formation is all about.

Finally, always remember that the Enneagram is not, and was never intended to be, an end in itself.  It is only meant to be a tool and a companion.  The Word and the Spirit are still our primary and most reliable guides.  If your studies and conversations about the Enneagram are not moving you regularly  toward the scriptures, where you are constantly being reminded of the truth, beware.  It is far too easy for us to be deceived by the false narratives that live within us and move us toward their own ends.  Remember Jeremiah's admonition: "The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure, who can understand it?" (Jer. 17:9)  It is so easy for me, if I am not regularly in God's word, to be led astray.  It is easy to define myself by what I want to be, or how I want to be perceived, rather than who I really am.  And this can be incredibly subtle.  I know that there is as much "want to be an artist" living in me as there is actual evidence that that is who I really am, but I still choose to define myself in that way.  So we must be careful.  Ultimately this whole spiritual life is not about us anyway, it is about God.  It is hard to remember that when we get swept up in conversations about the Enneagram.  Thus, the main question is not so much "What number am I?" as it is, "Am I moving toward love?"

So I guess all I'm really trying to say is: Be careful.  You are far more beautiful and wonderful and mysterious and unique and complex than any number on any chart could possibly do justice to.  And so are the people around you.  Don't reduce them to a number or a type.  Don't finish their sentences for them.  Don't tell them what their story is, but listen deeply to it with the ears of your heart, without preconceived notions.  Make sure you don't pigeonhole them, but help to uncover and reveal the fathomless mystery of who they really are.  They deserve that.  And so do you.  Have real conversations: discuss, reflect, pray, love.  Don't analyze, don't explain, and don't fix.  Be open to God's Spirit within you and among you.  That's what this life with and in Christ is all about.

There, I feel better now.

"Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long." ~Psalm 25:4-5

marriage

     Wives, understand and support your husbands in ways that show your support for Christ. The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing. So just as the church submits to Christ as he exercises such leadership, wives should likewise submit to their husbands.

     Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage.

     No one abuses his own body, does he? No, he feeds and pampers it. That’s how Christ treats us, the church, since we are part of his body. And this is why a man leaves father and mother and cherishes his wife. No longer two, they become “one flesh.” This is a huge mystery, and I don’t pretend to understand it all. What is clearest to me is the way Christ treats the church. And this provides a good picture of how each husband is to treat his wife, loving himself in loving her, and how each wife is to honor her husband. (Ephesians 5:22-33, The Message)

A few of days ago my wife and I had the incredible privilege of attending a ten year anniversary ceremony for a couple of dear friends.  They got married when they were really young and at the time were unable to afford the wedding they had always dreamt about, so they decided to have it on their tenth anniversary.  And it was delightful!  It was delightful because of the setting and the intentionality and the friends and family who had gathered.  It was delightful because of the wonderful weather and the beautiful decorations and the great food.  But mostly, it was delightful because of this extraordinary couple.  Her friends and family describe her as a great daughter, a great sister, and a great friend.  Her husband describes her as his rock--an incredible wife and mother.  Her life revolves around investing herself in the lives of those she loves, especially her husband and their four beautiful children.  He is a professional athlete.  His friends and family describe him as an enormous man with an enormous heart-- kind-hearted, loving, and generous (both with his time and his resources).  He is known in his profession as a great teammate who is willing to do the dirty work; willing to do all of the difficult, unglamorous things that no one else really wants to do.  In a word, both of these dear friends could be described as selfless.

And because this ceremony took place ten years after they had originally gotten married, I think it led everyone there to reflect upon marriage in general, an upon our own marriages in particular.  I know it did me.  What makes a great marriage?  What makes a marriage that lasts?  And, even more, what makes a marriage that flourishes?  All of these questions, I believe, are addressed in the words above from the book of Ephesians.  The secret to a great marriage can be summed up in two words: strength and beauty.  Let me explain what I mean by that. 

A wise man once said that the deepest question of every man's heart is, "Do I have what it takes?" while the greatest question of every woman's heart is, "Am I beautiful enough to be pursued?"  Now I am not completely sure about what resides in the heart of a woman, but as far as I'm concerned, the deepest question of every man's heart is spot on.  Deep in the heart of every man is the desire to be capable, adequate, and strong.  Oh, not strong in a brutish, bullying sort of way, but strong in a way that allows those dearest to us to feel safe and protected and cared for.  It is a strength filled with lovingkindness and tender care. And deep in the heart of every woman lies the desire to be considered beautiful.  Not just beautiful in the physical sense, but beautiful deep down to the core of who she really is.  A beauty that draws people to want to know her and be in deep relationship with her. 

I think that's why Paul uses the word "honor" when speaking to the wives and "cherish" when speaking to the husbands.  Somehow when wives honor their husbands, they hold them in high regard.  They make something come alive in them that God breathed into them when he dreamt them into being.  They draw out their godly strength.  And somehow when a husband cherishes his wife, he makes something come to life in her that makes her the very best, God-breathed, version of herself.  When she is cherished, her true beauty is evoked from her. 

The bottom line is that marriage was intended to be a place where husband and wife make each other the very best version of themselves.  And somehow the oneness from which, and for which, marriage was designed, means that the two together are more than they could ever be on their own.  That is not meant to diminish or demean singleness in any way.  In fact, I believe singleness is a unique and beautiful calling (or season) as well.  For those who are single it is almost as if God were saying, "I want to be that for you right now.  I want to be that intimate one in your life."  But the whole idea behind marriage is that two separate people would become one in some wonderfully mysterious way.  That the sum of the whole (in Christ) would somehow be greater than the sum of the parts.  I know that I have found this to be true in my own marriage.  I am a much, much better man with Carol in my life than I could ever hope to be without her.  Her presence in my life makes me more and more who God intended for me to be.

The question is, how is this oneness in marriage achieved?  How do we live in union as husband and wife, rather than simply settling for living parallel lives?  I think the answer goes back to the weekend celebration we just had the pleasure of witnessing.  Oneness is achieved through selflessness.  Just ask the Trinity.  They live in joyful, loving union with one another, each honoring and cherishing and pointing toward and delighting in the other.  It is a Great Round Dance of Love that we are invited to take part in.  Oneness happens when we follow their lead.  Thus, oneness begins to take shape when we become more committed to the cares and needs and wants and desires of our spouse than we are to our own plans, demands, and agendas.  When both spouses are committed to giving themselves fully and completely to each other--no holding back--oneness is the byproduct.  Just ask Jesus, the part of the Trinity who came to show us what the heart of God is really like, and what it means to really love someone.  His love is our guide.  Each one of us is to love our spouse the way that Jesus has loved us.   When we do that we become, both corporately and individually, all that God designed us to be. 

a prayer for intimate knowing

penetrate me o god
and know me intimately
test me as precious metal
and deeply know
my many thoughts and fears
see if there is any idol within me
anything that grieves you
or brings sorrow to your heart
and lead me in the hidden way
the way that is far too big
for me to see
the way that can only be seen
with the eyes of the heart
the way of eternity
the way without beginning
and without end
the way to my truest home
in you

(from Psalm 139:23-24)