i am who i am

"God said to Moses, 'I AM WHO I AM.  This is what you are to say to the Israelites: I AM has sent me to you.'"(Exodus 3:14)

"Don't worry that you're not enough.  Don't worry that you can't do it.  Don't worry that the task is too big for you.  For this whole thing is not about who you are; it's about who I AM.  I AM the point.  I AM the One who will do everything.  Your job is just to be obedient and attentive and not get in the way of what I AM going to do.  You can do nothing apart from me.  In fact, the smaller you grow, the bigger you will find me.  Now, go!"

fear's tryanny

fear is 

the enemy's 

playground

give him and inch

and he'll take a mile

what might be

what could be

what may be

the wheel goes

round and round

ever spinning

recipes for disater

worst case scenarios

what ifs and on noes

consume us and

hold us captive

only perfect love

can set us free

from fear's tyranny

come Lord Jesus

the backwards prayer

My heart is not proud, O Lord, my eyes are not haughty;

I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me.

But I have stilled and quieted my soul; like a weaned child with its mother,

like a weaned child is my soul within me.

O Israel, put your hope in the Lord both now and forevermore. (NIV, 1981) 

O Lord, my heart is not lifted up; my eyes are not raised too high;

I do not occupy myself with things too great and too marvelous for me.

But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother;

like a weaned child is my soul within me.

O Israel, hope in the Lord from this time forth and forevermore. (ESV)

God, I'm not trying to rule the roost, I don't want to be king of the mountain.

I haven't meddled where I have no business or fantasized grandiose plans.

I've kept my feet on the ground, I've cultivated a quiet heart.

Like a baby content in its mother's arms, my soul is a baby content.

Wait, Israel, for God.  Wait with hope.  Hope now; hope always. (MSG)

Lord, my heart has not been haughty, nor have my eyes looked too high,

nor have I striven for great things, nor for things too wondrous for me.

But I have calmed and contented myself like a weaned babe on its mother--

like a weaned babe I am with myself.

Wait, O Israel, for the Lord, now and forevermore. (The Book of Psalms by Robert Alter)

Do not be high, my soul, but be lowly.

Do not try to be great, but be least.

Do not try to rule, but to serve.

Do not try to be first, but to be last.

Do not try to be somebody, but become nobody.

Do not be busy and loud, but be still and quiet.

Do not be strong and independent, but become like a weaned child.

Do not hope in yourself, but hope in the Lord. (JLB, October, 2026)

i can't

until we move from

i can to i can't

we will never know

God's power

until we realize

our desperate need

we will never know

God's mercy

until we recognize

our own helplessness

we will never know

God's sufficiency

until we come to 

the end of our rope

we will never fully

depend on God alone

 

diminishment

Diminishment: lessening, shrinking, becoming or making something smaller, less, or lower in size, amount, or importance.

diminishment is 

an arduous friend

a severe mercy

a costly grace

it is the hard road

that leads to life

a life of lessening

so that God can

become more

a kind of death that 

leads to resurrection

a weakness that

reveals his strength

a powerlessness that

displays his power

it is an invitation to grace

an alignment with

the paschal mystery

an emptying that makes 

room for fullness

a purging that results

in a deepening

a letting go that brings about

a being taken hold of

a decreasing so that

he might increase

it is how God

grows his life in us

growth through

diminishment

so help me, O Lord

to embrace it

rather than resist it

        i have

         been

crucified with Christ

and i no longer live

          but

       Christ

        lives

        in me

the jesus way

"For you know the grace 

of our Lord Jesus Christ, 

that though he was rich, 

yet for your sakes 

he became poor, 

so that you through his poverty 

might become rich." 2 Cor. 8:9

we only come to understand 

richness through poverty

strength through weakness

wholeness through brokenness

healing through vulnerability

it's the jesus way

life-breath

"Like a weaned child is my soul within me." Psalm 131:2

If my soul really is my life-breath, the way the saints and scholars say it is, then the big question becomes, where am I trying to draw my life-breath from?  From God, the sole source of that breath, or from other people, places, and things?  If it is from others, then I am never going to be the non-anxious presence in this world that God wants me to be because I will constantly be worried about where my next breath is coming from.

O Lord, help me to always draw my life-breath from you.

rock or stumbling block

     "But what about you?  Who do you say I am?"

     Simon Peter answered, "You are the Christ, the Son of the living God."

     Jesus replied, "Blessed are you Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by man, but by my Father in heaven.  And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church."

     From that time on Jesus began to explain to his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things at the hands of the elders, chief priests, and teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life.

     Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him, "Never, Lord!" he said.  "This shall never happen to you!"

     Jesus turned and said to Peter, "Get behind me, Satan!  You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men."

(Matthew 16:13-18, 21-23) 

How do I move from rock to stumbling block?  By making it about me.  By operating out of my strength and expertise rather than my weakness and dependence.  By having in mind the things of men rather than the things of God.  By losing touch with the big picture and getting all wrapped up in my own little story.  By being full of myself rather than denying myself.  By avoiding my cross rather than taking up my cross.  By trying to save my life rather than being willing to lose my life. 

O Lord, help me to be a rock, not a stumbling block.

vulnerable

"The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us.  We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth." ~John 1:14

when you step out and 

put your heart on your sleeve

you open yourself up in a 

beautiful and perilous way

to be the object of abuse 

and laughter and scorn

or the creator of space 

for others to feel seen 

and safe and known

it's risky to be sure

but a risk worth taking

if its reward is real life

the Word became flesh and 

made his dwelling among us

He emptied himself and 

made himself nothing

God took on vulnerability

who could've imagined

the degree to which

God was willing to go

to connect with the broken

vulnerability makes good space 

for love to enter in unless 

there are strings attached

may we do likewise and 

enter into a vulnerability

without strings that makes 

space for love and says 

yes to the vulnerable

come sit at the table

"You prepare a table before me..." Psalm 23:5

with great thought, care, and intention

I have prepared a table just for you today

it is a table of abundance and delight

a table of deep intimacy and overflowing joy

a table where I have invited you to

enjoy my company and taste my kindness

all you have to do is pull up a chair and take a seat

will you?

the steady gaze of love

 "One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: That I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his kingdom." ~Psalm 27:4

held in the steady 

gaze of love

me gazing at you

you gazing at me

that is the life

you desire

don't let me

settle for less

lie down

"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want."  He is everything I need; I can rest secure in his love and care.  I need not fear; I can be at peace.  He holds me close in his strong and tender arms and carries me close to his heart.  He will never let me go.

So, lie down, my soul, in his green pastures.  Sit beside his still and quiet waters.  Let him breathe his divine breath into you and restore you.  Let him give you the life and the rest you so desperately need.

And always remember, there is a big difference between reading about it or talking about it and actually doing it.  Do it!  Don't just read about it.  Take his word into the depths of your soul and let him bring it to life.  Let him make it a reality.  Let it enter into you as you enter into it and find your rest in him.  God beyond information to formation. 

divine union

my soul waits in silent trust

held in your loving embrace

a child with its mother

a lover with their beloved

the strong and tender arms

wrapping me up and drawing me

deep into the great affection

of your beating heart of love

hold still, my soul

do not move

do not utter a word

don't take a chance on

spoiling this sacred moment

on disrupting this peace

the bliss of this eternal now

peace

give it to me

whatever it may be

and all your fears

will have to flee

I might not

take it away

but with you in it

I will stay

and your worries

you may release

I will replace them

with my peace

deep healing

Heal us, O God, in a deep and beautiful way.  For it is healing that we need and only you can offer it.  Heal our hearts, heal our lives, and heal our world.  Our wounds are the source of most of our conflicts, issues, and dysfunctions, so touch us with your healing hands of love and make us alive and whole and free.

Healing from the lies we believe to be true is more difficult than the healing of our broken-down bodies.  Because the lies are buried deep.  So deep that we hardly even recognize they are lies anymore, that is until Jesus comes and tells us the truth.  The truth that sets us free.  It is his truth that defines us, gives us our true identity, and sets us free.

For the women in Mark 5:24-34, the lies told her that she was broken, flawed, and unlovable.  But when Jesus stopped in the middle of that street, healed her broken body, and called her daughter, it changed everything.  He not only healed her body but healed her soul.  He gave her a new identity—daughter.  She was no longer “unclean,” she was his daughter.  He set her free from the both the illness and the lies that had held her captive for twelve long years.  And now she was free, since she knew she was beloved, to go take her place in his kingdom.  I wish we were given a picture of what her life was like from that day forward. 

What about you?  What is the life-defining lie you have believed that still holds you in bondage?  What truth does Jesus want to speak to you today in order to bring you freedom?  What does he call you?

get up

if you want to

walk with God

you can't just

stay on the mat

something is 

required of you

continuing on

in old patterns

is not an option

you must get up

pick up your mat

and walk

i shall not want

the Lord is my shepherd

i shall not want

and yet i do

i am filled with want

i'm so in touch with

my own neediness

it seems i bump into it

wherever i turn

i shall not want

is so far from my reality

probably because 

i continually turn to

other people and places

to try and meet my needs

rather than my good shepherd

Lord, have mercy

the hug

what the eyes of youth cannot see

the wisdom of age begins to understand

living with clenched fists is no life at all

just an exercise in futility and hubris

life is not about writing our own story

not about blazing or own trail

not about making a name for ourselves

but about stretching out our hands

about understanding where we fit

in His story—open handed

trusting and fully surrendered

about making His name great

it was never about me

but always about Him

help me stretch out my hands

clinging to worthless idols

“Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs.”  (Jonah 2:8) God keeps trying to give us grace, but we refuse to let go of our worthless idols—our own plans and agendas.  So, just like with Jonah, God has to take extreme measures to open us up to the grace he is trying to give us. 

Oftentimes, this comes through disruption.  He hurls us into the deep, a place of dependence and desperation, trying to pry open or tightly clenched fists from our own places of comfort and familiarity.  Sadly, even then we still try to cling to our worthless idols of strength and self-sufficiency, until finally we arrive at a place of total surrender. 

So maybe we should embrace the disruption instead of fighting it.  Maybe we should open our hands and our hearts and receive the grace God is trying to give us.  When we walk with Jesus, disruption is often an invitation.  In the words of Albert E. Day, “For into the vacuum created by the destruction of human pride and self-sufficiency, pours the fullness of God.”  How can we be full of God when we are so full of ourselves?

grave clothes

“Lazarus come out!" 

The dead man came out,

His hands and head

Wrapped with strips of linen,

And a cloth around his face.

Jesus said to them,

“Take off the grave clothes

And let him go.”

It reads like a poem.  Because we know, all too well, exactly what he means.  He’s talking to us too.  The things that bind us and keep us from the life he desires for us must be removed and left behind.  Yes, he has raised us from death to life and brought us out of the tomb, which is glorious indeed, but still there is work to be done in order for us to live fully and freely.  Walking with God in newness of life means leaving the grave clothes behind.