prologue: sounding the seasons

Tangled in time, we go by hints and guesses,

Turning the wheel of each returning year.

But in the midst of failures and successes

We sometimes glimpse the love that casts out fear.

Sometimes the heart remembers its own reasons

And beats a Sanctus as we sing our story,

Tracing the threads of grace, sounding the seasons

That lead at last through time to timeless glory.

From the first yearning for a Saviour's birth

To the full joy of knowing sins forgiven,

We start our journey here on God's good earth

To catch an echo of the choirs of heaven.

I send these out, returning what was lent,

Turning to praise each 'moment's monument'.

~Prologue: Sounding the Seasons by Malcom Guite

advent is coming

 "Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord; O Lord, hear my voice.  Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy.  If you, O Lord, kept a record of sins, O Lord, who could stand?  But with you there is forgiveness; therefore you are feared. 

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope.  My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen wait for the morning, more than watchmen wait for the morning.  

O Israel, put your hope in the Lord, for with the Lord is unfailing love and with him is full redemption.  He himself will redeem Israel from all their sins." (Psalm 130:1-8)

Advent is almost here.  On Sunday, we are all invited to embark once again on the sacred journey through the church calendar.  As you all know, Advent is the season of watching and waiting.  But if we start with watching and waiting we've missed a significant part of the process.  It goes much deeper than that, and Psalm 131 gives us a perfect example.  It is a psalm of longing, a psalm of yearning, and a psalm of expectation.  At its heart is what I've come to call the Advent Progression.  It goes something like this: mercy, wait, and hope.  Or, to use words that I have been reflecting on for the past year or so: desperation, dependence, and trust.  Or, to take it a little further: powerlessness, submission, and surrender.

We can simply start with waiting, but if we do we've started in the middle of the story.  There is no waiting without a deep recognition of our powerlessness and desperation, which is where the "cry for mercy" comes in.  That's what leads to submission.  We wait for God to speak, move, or act because we are totally dependent on him.  We can't redeem ourselves.  We can either keep trying to do so or we can totally surrender to him in trust and hope.  Thus, Advent must begin with recognizing and embracing our desperation and our powerlessness, so that we can wait for the Lord, in total submission, to do for us what we cannot do for ourselves.  We must submit to his will, his ways, and his plan, which involves putting our hope in him and not in ourselves, our gifts, our friends, or our circumstances.  "My Soul waits for the Lord" because it can do nothing else.  That's Advent! 

So let us begin with mercy (powerlessness).  Let mercy lead us to waiting (submission).  And let waiting lead us to putting our hope in the Lord (surrender).  For with the Lord is unfailing love, and with him is full redemption.  Thanks be to God!

ecstasy

lost in wonder

mesmerized by

the beauty of you

staring deeply

unable to take in

the fullness of the

mystery before me

so i keep on gazing

as if i had a choice

you have me locked in

holding my eyes 

and my heart captive

with the depths

of your charms

my soul rises within

and takes flight

soaring effortlessly

on the winds

of your loveliness

spoiled from all else

a glance will no longer do

gazing is required

to experience the ecstasy

of your divine presence

all that’s left behind

is a burning fire

deep in my soul

i am consumed

i am all yours

i surrender

quiddity

my soul is bare

the leaves have fallen

the winter chill and

the autumn winds

have stripped away

the covering and

left me standing naked

only the real remains

the true me with all

my flaws and frailties

there is no hiding

only being

being who i am in

all its beauty

and all its brokenness

and that's okay

to become nothing

Lord Jesus, you became nothing (Philippians 2:7) and tell me to do the same.  The problem is that I am constantly trying to become something, constantly striving to be seen and recognized.  Remind me that the real work, the work that changes lives, doesn’t involve being noticed, but is usually not seen or acknowledged by anyone.  But you see it, and that’s all that matters.  So, Lord Jesus, help me to empty myself and become nothing, so that I can be more like you.

gazing

to gaze upon the

beauty of the Lord

gazing is different

than merely looking

or glancing

it is longer and deeper

it is more profound

gazing is really seeing

it is being captured

by what is seen

it is being captivated

by what is perceived

it is beholding

intently and steadily

with great wonder

and immense pleasure

gazing upon God's beauty

calls something beautiful

out in all who partake in

the sacred practice

it leads to true delight

and real transformation

so come and gaze 

upon the beauty of the Lord

and let it have its way with you

through (part two)

the way is through

and not around

for it is in the

going through

that life and growth

are found

going around 

avoids the pain

that going through

turns into gain

even jesus had

to go through

so why should

it be any different

for me or for you

so do not begrudge it

or try to go around

it is by the hard way

that the kingdom is found

through

“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.  Your rod and your staff, they comfort me?” (Ps. 23:4) As much as we all would like to go around the valley of the shadow of death, that is not usually God’s way.  We must go through it, at least at some point in our lives.  Probably repeatedly.  That is because going through the valley of the shadow produces things in us that going around it simply cannot.

We might think that the point of life is success and ease and comfort, and our strategy may be to avoid as much pain and discomfort as we possibly can.  But ease and comfort provide little food in the journey of sanctification—of us becoming all God intended us to be.  In fact, they actually work against growth and formation.  God grows and forms us by allowing us the gift of going through the valley of the shadow of death.  It is death that produces new life.  It is in that valley where we learn dependence, reliance, obedience, humility, perseverance, and surrender.

So next time you find yourself in the valley of the shadow of death, do not fear.  Do not think that God has abandoned you.  Do not try to immediately get out of it.  Instead, embrace it.  There is much to learn there.  For a wise and wonderful saint once said: “There’s no way out, only through.”  

running

running may be good

for the body but it is 

not good for the soul

the soul needs

stillness and silence

it needs space to 

grow and flourish

it needs room to 

listen and reflect

always being on the go

always needing to be

on the move

is soul eroding

and will take 

a huge toll

over time

but it's a subtle erosion

hardly noticeable if

you aren't paying 

careful attention

you just look up one day

and you're as dry as dust

comparison

the toxicity

of comparison

is soul destroying

robbing us of our

inherent value

and worth

making everyone

a threat and a rival

instead of a dearly loved

fellow human being

making us operate out of

a place of scarcity

rather than out of 

a place of abundance

which destroys life

rather than creating it

fear and ego

trying to make yourself something

apart from who you were made to be

is an endeavor fraught with frustration

and destined for dissatisfaction

it can only be false stuffed with false

trying to become more than we are

is an age-old occupation

impossible to achieve and 

yet relentlessly pursued

a chasing after the wind

a dog chasing its tail

a unicorn as elusive

as it is intriguing

but how can any false self

no matter how impressive it is

replace the true self 

the maker made us to be

how have we become convinced

that who we were made to be

is simply not good enough

how have we allowed the lies

to determine and define us

rather than the truth