building vs. being built

Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. (Psalm 127:1)

You also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood . . . (1 Peter 2:5)

We are builders by nature.  It seems to be woven into our DNA.  From the Tower of Babel, to the Roman Empire, to Microsoft, we just have a propensity to build things--be it a building, or a dynasty, or a business, or even a ministry.  Which is both a blessing and a curse.  For while building can be an asset if you are running a business, it is definitely a liability in the spiritual life. For in the spiritual life, the focus is not so much on building, as it is on being built.  It is not so much about what we can do, as it is about what God wants to do.  We can charge ahead into a thousand-and-one seemingly good plans, schemes, and agendas, and totally miss out on what God wants to build in us and through us.  So instead of grabbing that hammer and beginning to swing away at whatever grand project we have in our minds at the moment, let us, instead, consider how God might want us to be open and available for whatever he wants to build.  For apart from him, our very best work is only in vain.


O Lord our God, forgive us when we start constructing our own houses--living by our own agendas and devices--and attempt to pawn them off as yours.  When we do this we are greatly deceived; we are toiling in vain.  You build the house, O Lord, whatever that may be, whatever it may look like.  For only then will the work of our hands be of any eternal value.  

joy

o joy
you are such a puzzle
elusive and mysterious

you can't be manufactured
but can be grown
you can't be forced
but can be chosen

you are much more
than just a feeling
more durable and substantial
than mere happiness

you can bear
the presence of sadness
you can endure
the company of pain

but at the same time
you are hard to capture
difficult to tame and
impossible to conjure

you are foreign to me
not a natural part
of my typical
mode of operation

yet you continually invite me
to come and live in your house
to taste your fruit
to see through your eyes

o the mystery

losing myself

there it goes again
that familiar struggle
between desire and need
between love and fear

it is such a fine line
one that is so easily
and subtly crossed
from i love you
to i need you

it is amazing how
something so beautiful
can become so tainted
in a matter of seconds

it is like a switch
is flipped inside
and i suddenly forget who i am
and instead start to grasp
for someone to be

good

in the midst of
the pain and chaos of life
the temptation arises to ask
am I being punished somehow
is that how it works
are you really good, o god
and what does that even mean

it is an epic struggle
to truly believe
in the goodness of god
especially in the presence
of the great sadness
it is a struggle indeed

but your goodness o god
is much bigger than
my circumstances
it simply has to be

your goodness
is not dependent upon
or determined by
my perception of
whatever is going on
in my life at the moment
for if it is then
heaven help me
i am in for
one hell of a ride

your goodness
must be deeper
and more substantial
than any circumstance
life could hand me
for it is rooted
in eternity
and thus
not easily seen
this side of heaven
unless of course
we are given eyes
to see

you are good
o lord
and that is that
when i choose
to believe
in your goodness
in spite of appearances
there is a rootedness
born in me
a solid place
from which to live
a on rock on which
to set my feet
in spite of whatever
storms might come

help me
o god
to believe
in your goodness
help me
to see
all of life
not as
right and privilege
but as
gift and gratitude
for you alone
o lord
are truly good

fallow

every now
and again
the land must
simply lie fallow
in order to be all
that it was
intended to be

the same is true
of the soul

there is
a deep need
and a great necessity
in the life of the spirit
for our hearts
and our souls
to lie fallow

to create
a time
and a space
where we do
nothing
but rest
and recover

a time where we
accomplish nothing
produce nothing
achieve nothing

a time where
we do not try
to be helpful
or available
but only
replenish and renew
our souls
for years of
future fruitfulness

but o how difficult
the task
how hard it is
to create
and maintain
this time and space
to hold onto it
doggedly
against all
that would try
to fill it up

it takes
an enormous
amount
of discipline
and wisdom
and courage
to let the soul
just lie there
undisturbed

that is why
so few
ever do it

do you love me?

     When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon, "Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?"
     "Yes Lord," he said, "you know that I love you."
     Jesus said, "Feed my lambs." (John 21:15)

The resurrected Jesus gets right to the point.  He asks us the very same question he asked Simon Peter: "Do you love me more than these?"  It is the question of the entire spiritual life.  Do we love him more than these?  Do we love him more than our families?  Do we love him more than our friends?  Do we love him more than our careers?  Do we love him more than our very selves?  For until we love him, above and before all else, we cannot possibly do the work he has given us to do--feed his lambs.  For if we do not love Jesus first and foremost, we cannot possibly feed his lambs, we can only feed on his lambs.

Lord Jesus, help me to love you before all else today.  For only then can I truly love others the way you want me to--fully and freely.

recognizing

Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not recognize that it was Jesus. (John 21:4)

It seems that one of the disciplines most necessary during the Easter season is the discipline of recognizing.  After all, the risen Christ could appear at any moment and we must pay careful attention, lest we miss him--just ask the disciples.  They were so busy not catching fish that they were oblivious to the fact that Jesus had been standing on the shore, at least long enough to build a fire and get some coals hot.  Why had they missed him?  The simple answer is that they were preoccupied.  They were so busy with the task at hand that they were paying no attention to anything else.  I get that.  I can get caught up in the comings and goings of my day just as easily.  Busyness, preoccupation, and hurry can blind me to the fact that Jesus is standing right there on the shoreline of my life and I have not recognized him.  I must learn how to slow down, to pay attention.  I must learn how to go through the course of my days with an eye out for the Risen One.  I must not let the chaos and activity of everyday life sweep me away and distract me from the real reason I am here in the first place--Jesus.

Lord Jesus, give me the grace and the ability to recognize you today, however you may come to me.  Amen.