A few days ago I was given an extraordinary gift. A dear friend of mine invited me over to his house to meet a truly remarkable young man. The young man's name is Sean and at the time he was in the midst of a two-year battle with Ewing's Sarcoma, a rare form of tissue and bone cancer that predominately attacks adolescents and young adults. Sean grew up in Brentwood and came to Knoxville to play tennis at UT, where Ben (my friend) became one of his coaches. But shortly after signing with UT, in October of 2012, Sean was diagnosed with cancer, which was the beginning of a heroic two-year journey. And it was also the beginning of a beautiful friendship between Ben and Sean. If you know Ben at all, you know two things: he loves his players and he loves Jesus. Well, eventually Sean's most recent stage of his battle with cancer required a significant amount of care and attention, but because of his love for his teammates and his friends he did not want to leave Knoxville. Therefore, my friend Ben invited Sean, and his family and friends, to come live with him. Again, if you know my friend Ben, this is no surprise at all. That is where the "extraordinary gift" part comes in.
On Wednesday of last week Ben invited me over to join some friends and family as they prayed for Sean. It was an incredibly beautiful and intimate time. Beautiful in the sense of a man selflessly opening his home, and his heart, to a group of folks in tough circumstances in order to kindly and compassionately make their lives as easy as possible. Beautiful in the sense of the love poured out on this young man by a community of family and friends who were loving him selflessly and extravagantly. And beautiful in the sense of an incredibly strong and courageous young man fighting an epic battle with heroic perseverance and bravery. I watched as Ben warmly and gently made such wonderful space for this beautiful story to unfold. I watched as a group of women cared for Sean with such tenderness and affection that, as a bit of an outsider, I didn't feel worthy to witness it. And I watched as Sean tenaciously fought a battle that would have overwhelmed, and long since defeated, a lesser man.
And so we prayed. We gathered around his bed and laid our hands upon him and poured out our hearts. We prayed for healing. We prayed for comfort. We prayed for peace. All of which God graciously granted; for on Sunday, November 16, Sean peacefully went to be with Jesus. Now he is, indeed, whole. Now he is, indeed, comforted beyond our wildest imaginations. Now he is, indeed, fully at peace. In the immortal words of Dwight L. Moody, “One day you are going to read that Dwight L. Moody is dead. Don’t believe it. For at that moment I will be more alive than I have ever been." And so it is with Sean.
I realized that day that I had been given an extraordinary gift. During times like these we are often tempted to ask the question "Why?" And as I drove away from the house I began thinking about that very question. But it wasn't the whys you would have normally expected, it was a whole different set of whys. The whys that recognize that all of life is a gift. Like, why did I get the privilege of spending thirty profoundly impactful minutes with such an incredible group of people? Why did I get the privilege of meeting this amazing young man? Why was I somehow chosen to be one of the ones that were fortunate enough to have found themselves in his life-changing path? And I thought about his parents. Why were they given the incredible gift of being this young man's parents? Did God have a broad smile on his face as he gave them this amazing son? And why did they get the privilege of having him for a full twenty years? Why not just twenty minutes? Or twenty days? Why did God want them to have hearts and minds filled to overflowing with a full twenty years of wonderful memories? What a gift! And I thought about his friends. Why did they get the gift of being able to be Sean's friend? Why did God specifically pick them out to be next door neighbors, or classmates, or doubles partners with this extraordinary young man? Why did they get that privilege and not someone else? For they are so much the richer for having known him and having been around him. And then I thought about his teammates. Why were they the ones to be chosen to come to Tennessee, in just the right place at just the right time, to get to be on Sean's team. And why did God give him to the UT community to begin with, and not to Vanderbilt, or Florida, or Georgia? Why did they get the gift of walking this journey with him? Why did they get the gift of seeing the courage and the tenacity and the bravery and the strength and the fight of this one remarkable young man who would forever change the course of their lives by having known him?
I know I am a richer man for having met Sean and his family, and I was only around them for about thirty minutes. I can't imagine the impact of being around him for two years, much less twenty. And I am forever grateful for those thirty minutes and this one amazing young man who helped change forever the way I see the question, "Why?"
Tuesday, November 18, 2014
Saturday, November 1, 2014
o my soul
Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name. (Psalm 103:1)
I love the way David seemed often to live from his soul. There is something about that idea, and about these words that begin Psalm 103, that is very appealing and intriguing to me. I tend to live, all too often, from my head, or from my fears and insecurities, or from my surface reality, or from my circumstances. But when I do this I get the constant sense that I am missing something, that there is much more to life than what I am experiencing at the moment, something much deeper. And I think this something deeper has a lot to do with living from my soul. My sense is that my soul is the deepest part of me, the uncharted depths of my being. It seems very mysterious and abstract, but at the same time it seems to be the most real part of me that exists. And it is a place that I long to live from regularly, but one that I, unfortunately, seem to be aware of and in touch with far too infrequently.
So just what is a soul anyway? And how do we bless God with it? The word soul in the Hebrew (nephesh) comes from the root naphash which means to breathe, to take a breath, or to strongly pant. Our breath is the part of us that gives and sustains life. Therefore, nephesh (soul) is that part of us that makes us most alive. It is our being, our essence, our is-ness, who we really are. It is who God dreamt us to be. Dallas Willard once called it "the deepest part of the self." Or, as a dear friend said to me recently, "It is the part of you that burns inside." In short, the soul is the place we were created to live out of. It is the part of us that was made for intimate union with our God.
And the word bless in the Hebrew (Psalm 103:1-2) means to kneel or adore. So when David says, "Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name." He is saying, "Let the depths of who I am, who I was dreamt to be, adore the one who made me that way." To bless the Lord with all my soul means to turn towards God and open my most intimate places, in adoration, to him. To engage him with all that I have and all that I am.
But the soul can be an elusive animal. As a matter of fact, I once heard someone describe the soul as a deer; which makes total sense since Psalm 42 uses the image of a deer to describe our soul's longing for God. "As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you , my God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go meet with God?" (Psalm 42:1-2) I am not much of a hunter, but I do know that if you want to see a deer it will take time and patience, stillness and attentiveness; any sudden movement or commotion will scare it away, back into hiding. And so it is with the soul. If you want to have access to your soul, most likely all of these things will be necessary as well. There are times, however, when you just "happen upon" a deer completely by accident. You just look up and there it is, as surprised to see you as you are to see it. These moments happen with the soul as well. Sometimes, when we are least expecting it, the soul just shows up. It might be a scene from a movie, or a song, or a sunset, or work of art that suddenly captures you, and low and behold you and your soul are standing face to face. These moments, as they are with deer, are rare and beautiful. They leave us different than they found us. And if me are willing to take the time and the space to reflect, and to mine their treasure, they can offer our souls food for days and weeks to come.
But what of the intentional moments? How can we be more like David? How can we live our lives more consistently from my souls? I guess the easiest answer is to pay careful attention to the things that bring us to life inside, and to consistently make these things a regular part of our practice. These things can help us to have access to, and live from, our souls more often. The other day I heard an incredible question in this regard, one that I hope to reflect on and wrestle with in the days and weeks (and maybe even months and years) ahead. The question was: "What fuels your soul to keep you stumbling toward love?" And what a great question it is! It is a question that realizes a few central truths. First, it realizes that our soul is the engine that drives us, in whatever direction we may end up going. Secondly, in recognizes that the soul can't run on its own, it needs fuel to keep it going, whatever that fuel may be. That is up to each of us (since we are uniquely and wonderfully made) to figure out. And lastly, it clearly shows us that the purpose of it all is to continually stumble in the direction of love. Ultimately life, even my life and your life, is not about us, but about God, and about him being known and glorified both within us and around us. So, this day, let us consider our souls. Let us live constantly from them. Let us consider what offers them the fuel they need. And let us, always and everywhere, continue to stumble in the direction of Love.
I love the way David seemed often to live from his soul. There is something about that idea, and about these words that begin Psalm 103, that is very appealing and intriguing to me. I tend to live, all too often, from my head, or from my fears and insecurities, or from my surface reality, or from my circumstances. But when I do this I get the constant sense that I am missing something, that there is much more to life than what I am experiencing at the moment, something much deeper. And I think this something deeper has a lot to do with living from my soul. My sense is that my soul is the deepest part of me, the uncharted depths of my being. It seems very mysterious and abstract, but at the same time it seems to be the most real part of me that exists. And it is a place that I long to live from regularly, but one that I, unfortunately, seem to be aware of and in touch with far too infrequently.
So just what is a soul anyway? And how do we bless God with it? The word soul in the Hebrew (nephesh) comes from the root naphash which means to breathe, to take a breath, or to strongly pant. Our breath is the part of us that gives and sustains life. Therefore, nephesh (soul) is that part of us that makes us most alive. It is our being, our essence, our is-ness, who we really are. It is who God dreamt us to be. Dallas Willard once called it "the deepest part of the self." Or, as a dear friend said to me recently, "It is the part of you that burns inside." In short, the soul is the place we were created to live out of. It is the part of us that was made for intimate union with our God.
And the word bless in the Hebrew (Psalm 103:1-2) means to kneel or adore. So when David says, "Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name." He is saying, "Let the depths of who I am, who I was dreamt to be, adore the one who made me that way." To bless the Lord with all my soul means to turn towards God and open my most intimate places, in adoration, to him. To engage him with all that I have and all that I am.
But the soul can be an elusive animal. As a matter of fact, I once heard someone describe the soul as a deer; which makes total sense since Psalm 42 uses the image of a deer to describe our soul's longing for God. "As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you , my God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go meet with God?" (Psalm 42:1-2) I am not much of a hunter, but I do know that if you want to see a deer it will take time and patience, stillness and attentiveness; any sudden movement or commotion will scare it away, back into hiding. And so it is with the soul. If you want to have access to your soul, most likely all of these things will be necessary as well. There are times, however, when you just "happen upon" a deer completely by accident. You just look up and there it is, as surprised to see you as you are to see it. These moments happen with the soul as well. Sometimes, when we are least expecting it, the soul just shows up. It might be a scene from a movie, or a song, or a sunset, or work of art that suddenly captures you, and low and behold you and your soul are standing face to face. These moments, as they are with deer, are rare and beautiful. They leave us different than they found us. And if me are willing to take the time and the space to reflect, and to mine their treasure, they can offer our souls food for days and weeks to come.
But what of the intentional moments? How can we be more like David? How can we live our lives more consistently from my souls? I guess the easiest answer is to pay careful attention to the things that bring us to life inside, and to consistently make these things a regular part of our practice. These things can help us to have access to, and live from, our souls more often. The other day I heard an incredible question in this regard, one that I hope to reflect on and wrestle with in the days and weeks (and maybe even months and years) ahead. The question was: "What fuels your soul to keep you stumbling toward love?" And what a great question it is! It is a question that realizes a few central truths. First, it realizes that our soul is the engine that drives us, in whatever direction we may end up going. Secondly, in recognizes that the soul can't run on its own, it needs fuel to keep it going, whatever that fuel may be. That is up to each of us (since we are uniquely and wonderfully made) to figure out. And lastly, it clearly shows us that the purpose of it all is to continually stumble in the direction of love. Ultimately life, even my life and your life, is not about us, but about God, and about him being known and glorified both within us and around us. So, this day, let us consider our souls. Let us live constantly from them. Let us consider what offers them the fuel they need. And let us, always and everywhere, continue to stumble in the direction of Love.
Wednesday, October 29, 2014
given
And taking the five loaves and the two fish he looked up to heaven and said a blessing and broke the loaves and gave them to the disciples to give to set before the people. (Mark 6:41)
Ultimately, we are taken, blessed, and broken in order to be given. Thus, we have to realize that this life is not about us, it is about God and his Kingdom. When we really understand that, then all of the other pieces somehow begin to fall into place. Christ is given to and for us, so that we might be given to him, and then to others. (Mark 12:29-31)
Ultimately, we are taken, blessed, and broken in order to be given. Thus, we have to realize that this life is not about us, it is about God and his Kingdom. When we really understand that, then all of the other pieces somehow begin to fall into place. Christ is given to and for us, so that we might be given to him, and then to others. (Mark 12:29-31)
The more I think about
the meaning of living and acting in the name of Jesus, the more I realize that
what I have to offer others is not my intelligence, skill, power, influence, or
connections, but my own human brokenness through which the love of God can
manifest itself. The celebrant in
Leonard Bernstein's Mass says: "Glass shines brighter when it's broken...I
never noticed that." This, to me,
is what ministry and mission are all about.
Ministry is entering with our human brokenness into communion with
others and speaking a word of hope. This
hope is not based on any power to solve the problems of those with whom we
live, but on the love of God, which becomes visible when we let go of our fears
of being out of control and enter into His presence in shared confession of
weakness.
The great paradox of ministry, therefore,
is that we minister above all with our weakness, a weakness that invites us to
receive from those to whom we go. The
more in touch we are with our own need for healing and salvation, the more open
we are to receive in gratitude what others have to offer us. (Gracias!
by Henri J.M. Nouwen)
Monday, October 27, 2014
broken
And taking the five loaves and the two fish he looked up to heaven and said a blessing and broke the loaves and gave them to the disciples to give to set before the people. (Mark 6:41)
I am more and more convinced that until we fully realize the fact that we really have no idea what we are doing we will never be of any value to God, or to anyone else for that matter. That's where brokenness comes in. After Jesus takes us, and blesses us, he then must break us. Unfortunately the breaking is a necessary part of the process. It is only in the breaking that we realize that we can't do it on our own. It is only in the breaking that we discover that we don't have the resources, in and of ourselves, to give the people in our lives and in our world what they most desperately need and most deeply long for. It is only in the breaking that we recognize our total dependence on God. It is only in the breaking that we can be multiplied enough to be given. A very wise friend once told me, "You can't be multiplied enough to be given, you can only be broken enough to be given." Somehow it is in the breaking that the multiplication happens. So much so that, in the end, a crowd of up to ten thousand people had eaten until they were satisfied and there were still twelve basketfuls of broken pieces left over (Mark 6:42-43). Thanks be to God.
I am more and more convinced that until we fully realize the fact that we really have no idea what we are doing we will never be of any value to God, or to anyone else for that matter. That's where brokenness comes in. After Jesus takes us, and blesses us, he then must break us. Unfortunately the breaking is a necessary part of the process. It is only in the breaking that we realize that we can't do it on our own. It is only in the breaking that we discover that we don't have the resources, in and of ourselves, to give the people in our lives and in our world what they most desperately need and most deeply long for. It is only in the breaking that we recognize our total dependence on God. It is only in the breaking that we can be multiplied enough to be given. A very wise friend once told me, "You can't be multiplied enough to be given, you can only be broken enough to be given." Somehow it is in the breaking that the multiplication happens. So much so that, in the end, a crowd of up to ten thousand people had eaten until they were satisfied and there were still twelve basketfuls of broken pieces left over (Mark 6:42-43). Thanks be to God.
Thursday, October 23, 2014
blessed
And taking the five loaves and the two fish he looked up to heaven and said a blessing and broke the loaves and gave them to the disciples to give to set before the people. (Mark 6:41)
After he takes the loaves from the disciples, he blesses them. This is the second movement in the dance of faith. After God takes us to (and for) himself, he blesses us. It is a phrase that we hear all the time. In fact, it is one we hear so much that I'm afraid it has lost its meaning.
To bless someone is to invoke life into them. Dallas Willard said it so beautifully when he said, "Blessing is the projection of good into the life of another. It isn't just words. It is actually putting forth your will for the good of another person. You bless someone when you will their good under the invocation of God. You invoke God on their behalf to support the good that you will for them. This is the nature of blessing. It is what we are to receive from God and then give to one another." So after God takes us to (and for) himself, he blesses us. He speaks words of life and affection and goodness deep into our souls. It is this that inspires, renews, energizes, captures, and transforms us. God draws us tenderly to himself and infuses his goodness and love and affection into us by his Spirit.
Numbers 6:24-26 is maybe the most classic example of blessing. In Numbers 6 we find the blessing that Moses instructed his brother Aaron to place on the people of Israel. And what a blessing it is! "The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace." It's almost as if Moses is saying, "May God continuously bring his good into your life (bless). May me protect you and build his hedge of protection around (keep) you. May his face always shine upon you, transforming you more and more into his image, and causing your face, in turn, to shine with his glory. May his gracious favor be poured out upon you and well up within you. May the smile of his face (countenance) be ever upon you. And may he restore you to the wholeness (peace) you were intended for. Pretty great words, huh? God's words of life being infused into our very being.
So may we draw near to God and receive his blessing, this day and every day. And may we, in turn, bless others with the goodness and the life and the affection and the peace he has blessed us with.
After he takes the loaves from the disciples, he blesses them. This is the second movement in the dance of faith. After God takes us to (and for) himself, he blesses us. It is a phrase that we hear all the time. In fact, it is one we hear so much that I'm afraid it has lost its meaning.
To bless someone is to invoke life into them. Dallas Willard said it so beautifully when he said, "Blessing is the projection of good into the life of another. It isn't just words. It is actually putting forth your will for the good of another person. You bless someone when you will their good under the invocation of God. You invoke God on their behalf to support the good that you will for them. This is the nature of blessing. It is what we are to receive from God and then give to one another." So after God takes us to (and for) himself, he blesses us. He speaks words of life and affection and goodness deep into our souls. It is this that inspires, renews, energizes, captures, and transforms us. God draws us tenderly to himself and infuses his goodness and love and affection into us by his Spirit.
Numbers 6:24-26 is maybe the most classic example of blessing. In Numbers 6 we find the blessing that Moses instructed his brother Aaron to place on the people of Israel. And what a blessing it is! "The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace." It's almost as if Moses is saying, "May God continuously bring his good into your life (bless). May me protect you and build his hedge of protection around (keep) you. May his face always shine upon you, transforming you more and more into his image, and causing your face, in turn, to shine with his glory. May his gracious favor be poured out upon you and well up within you. May the smile of his face (countenance) be ever upon you. And may he restore you to the wholeness (peace) you were intended for. Pretty great words, huh? God's words of life being infused into our very being.
So may we draw near to God and receive his blessing, this day and every day. And may we, in turn, bless others with the goodness and the life and the affection and the peace he has blessed us with.
Saturday, October 18, 2014
taken
And taking the five loaves and the two fish he looked up to heaven and said a blessing and broke the loaves and gave them to the disciples to give to set before the people. (Mark 6:41)
He has taken us to himself. It is the first step in the dance of faith. He takes us to himself again and again and again. It is what the saints call union; that deep, intimate union that we all were created for and most deeply long for. It is what gives the rest of the dance its life and meaning, its depth and substance. It is this intimate taking of us to himself that leaves us completely taken with him in return. Without this step, ministry is hollow and superficial. Without this step we cannot fruitfully arrive at the final step, being given. Without first being taken the seed planted within us will never grow into the beautiful, fruitful plant it was meant to be, but will instead stagnate or die or wither or fade. For it is his love that compels us, Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 5:14. This life of love that God has planted within us is meant to provide the life and energy for all we do. Thus, our desire to be given cannot last without this love kindled (and continually rekindled) deep in our hearts and souls. Therefore, we need to continually make time and space to be taken by him: to listen to his whispers of affection, to feel the tender touch of his hands, to receive his passionate kiss upon our lips, to know the deep intimacy of his abiding presence. It is what brings us to life on the inside. And it is what offers life to all who cross our paths.
He has taken us to himself. It is the first step in the dance of faith. He takes us to himself again and again and again. It is what the saints call union; that deep, intimate union that we all were created for and most deeply long for. It is what gives the rest of the dance its life and meaning, its depth and substance. It is this intimate taking of us to himself that leaves us completely taken with him in return. Without this step, ministry is hollow and superficial. Without this step we cannot fruitfully arrive at the final step, being given. Without first being taken the seed planted within us will never grow into the beautiful, fruitful plant it was meant to be, but will instead stagnate or die or wither or fade. For it is his love that compels us, Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 5:14. This life of love that God has planted within us is meant to provide the life and energy for all we do. Thus, our desire to be given cannot last without this love kindled (and continually rekindled) deep in our hearts and souls. Therefore, we need to continually make time and space to be taken by him: to listen to his whispers of affection, to feel the tender touch of his hands, to receive his passionate kiss upon our lips, to know the deep intimacy of his abiding presence. It is what brings us to life on the inside. And it is what offers life to all who cross our paths.
Friday, October 3, 2014
behind
From that time on Jesus began to explain to his disciples that he must go to Jerusalem and suffer many things at the hands of the elders, the chief priests and the teachers of the law, and that he must be killed and on the third day be raised to life.
Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him, "Never Lord!" he said. "This shall never happen to you!"
Jesus turned and said to Peter, "Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men." (Matthew 16:21-23)
I don't know about you, but it is easy for me at times to get ahead of myself. To move and act and live life before I have really reflected and thought and prayed about the life I most want to live. And it is also easy, in this life of faith, to get ahead of God at times as well. It is easy for us to charge ahead with our plans and schemes and agendas--for the kingdom, mind you--without really listening and seeking and getting direction from God. Glad to see that I am not alone. Peter had the same problem. So much so that when Jesus told him what was to come, he adamantly disagreed with him--even rebuked him--because those plans did not agree with his own. That's where the "Get behind me, Satan!" part comes in. Peter had charged ahead when the place he needed to be was firmly behind; behind Jesus. And Jesus reminded him of that, quite boldly I might add. It is so easy to charge ahead sometimes; to follow our own plans for how we think things should work and should go and should be. There is a great danger for us when that happens. For when we charge ahead actually become a stumbling block to him, rather than a follower. For ours is not to charge ahead, ours is always to follow closely behind. What will that look like for us today?
Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him, "Never Lord!" he said. "This shall never happen to you!"
Jesus turned and said to Peter, "Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men." (Matthew 16:21-23)
I don't know about you, but it is easy for me at times to get ahead of myself. To move and act and live life before I have really reflected and thought and prayed about the life I most want to live. And it is also easy, in this life of faith, to get ahead of God at times as well. It is easy for us to charge ahead with our plans and schemes and agendas--for the kingdom, mind you--without really listening and seeking and getting direction from God. Glad to see that I am not alone. Peter had the same problem. So much so that when Jesus told him what was to come, he adamantly disagreed with him--even rebuked him--because those plans did not agree with his own. That's where the "Get behind me, Satan!" part comes in. Peter had charged ahead when the place he needed to be was firmly behind; behind Jesus. And Jesus reminded him of that, quite boldly I might add. It is so easy to charge ahead sometimes; to follow our own plans for how we think things should work and should go and should be. There is a great danger for us when that happens. For when we charge ahead actually become a stumbling block to him, rather than a follower. For ours is not to charge ahead, ours is always to follow closely behind. What will that look like for us today?
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